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Currently Browsing: Widowed Life
Jun
7

Invisibility

As much as I know spending the first month after my husband was killed curled up in a little ball at home would have been good for me, reality doesn’t work that way.  Utilities, banks, car payments, none of them care that your world has been smashed into little pieces.  Which means you go back to work. So I went back, before I ready, but I’m a big girl, I could handle it.  And I did. ...
Jun
6

Waves

One of the things you learn going through this process is certain cliches, are cliches for a reason.  Because they are true. Imagine you are wading in the ocean, but at the moment the water is up to your neck.  You are walking and okay, though all that water around you is adding pressure and strain, but you’re okay.  Then a wave hits, small, large, it doesn’t matter as any wave at this point...
Jun
5

Chores

Dishes, vacuuming, putting things away, all those little things you need to do when you live somewhere.  All those land mines for missing someone.  You turn expecting to see him doing his half, but he’s not there and there is this flash of resentment, he’s supposed to be there helping.  Then you remember again he won’t ever help again and the wave hits you.  It is funny how easy it is to...
Jun
4

Contact

No, not contact me, or contact from aliens, I’m talking about human contact.  Being touched, held, hugged, feeling the hands of another on you.  One of the problems with American society is the rigidity of our personal bubbles.  Which is good and bad, as having complete strangers put their hands on your is creepy and disturbing.  But it also means if you aren’t in an intimate sexual...
Jun
3

Stages of Grief: Anger

Anger – sighs.  I sometimes wonder if I’m missing something here.  I remember being mad when an old friend died, and when my aunt died in her 20’s.  But now? I suspect there is a sociology paper in this, but I’m not Christian per se, and as such I don’t really believe in heaven or a god that is controlling everything.  So, who am I supposed to be mad at?  My husband?  Trust...

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