Dishes, vacuuming, putting things away, all those little things you need to do when you live somewhere.  All those land mines for missing someone.  You turn expecting to see him doing his half, but he’s not there and there is this flash of resentment, he’s supposed to be there helping.  Then you remember again he won’t ever help again and the wave hits you.  It is funny how easy it is to...


No, not contact me, or contact from aliens, I’m talking about human contact.  Being touched, held, hugged, feeling the hands of another on you.  One of the problems with American society is the rigidity of our personal bubbles.  Which is good and bad, as having complete strangers put their hands on your is creepy and disturbing.  But it also means if you aren’t in an intimate sexual...

Stages of Grief: Anger

Anger – sighs.  I sometimes wonder if I’m missing something here.  I remember being mad when an old friend died, and when my aunt died in her 20’s.  But now? I suspect there is a sociology paper in this, but I’m not Christian per se, and as such I don’t really believe in heaven or a god that is controlling everything.  So, who am I supposed to be mad at?  My husband?  Trust...

Stages of Grief: Denial

So most of us have heard of the stages of grief, and that you need to go through them.  There is a lot of discussion on when these stages kick in and if they do, but usually there is some accuracy to them. The 1st one is Denial.  I always wondered about this one.  I knew you could deny it for a few minutes, maybe even a day or two.  But when you look at your husbands lifeless body, and see the cuts from...

My Blog – who, what, where, why

I’ve never been good at blogs, never felt I had much to say. But all that changed recently. On May 3, 2016 my husband was killed. And I found myself a widow at 46. I’m still going to talk about books, conventions, and geek stuff, but I’m also going to talk about being alone suddly when I was supposed to be planning my life with the man I married. I freely admit this will be part therapy,...

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