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Other People’s Problems

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My friends and I have been referring to it as the “widow” card.  Something that trumps others and makes it so you get extra consideration, understanding, hugs, etc.  But, these are just my problems.  Other people still have issues too that are just as all consuming to them as my grief is to me.

I had lunch with a friend and listened to what was going on in his life.  And it was a lot.  all just as drastic as what I’ve got going on in mine.  At what point do I say, ‘my grief isn’t as important as what you need’ and set the grief or the “widow” card aside?

Humans are egocentric creatures by necessity.  Selfishness isn’t a bad thing in an of itself, it is necessary to live.  But when do you cross the line?  I care about others, but I can’t put my own needs and grief aside.  Not yet.  But already I feel guilty.

It is 42 days today that I lost him.  It still doesn’t seem real.  That I’m alone, but yet I have so little to complain about compared to some others.  ~sighs~ I don’t want to feel guilty about my selfishness, I’m not ready yet to quit grieving.

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