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Waves

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One of the things you learn going through this process is certain cliches, are cliches for a reason.  Because they are true.

Imagine you are wading in the ocean, but at the moment the water is up to your neck.  You are walking and okay, though all that water around you is adding pressure and strain, but you’re okay.  Then a wave hits, small, large, it doesn’t matter as any wave at this point is too much and your swamped.  Going under and struggling to get your footing again.

You never leave the water, but eventually – days, weeks, months, years later you will find that the water only comes up to your waist.  Then the small waves rock you a bit, but the big ones, they still swamp you and have to struggle to stand back up and find your balance once more.  Someday the hope is you will be all the way on the beach and only the biggest waves will do any more than get your feet wet, but the possibility of a tidal wave will never disappear.

The water is grief, and the waves of grief are never anything you can prepare for.  Small or large they always rock you to some bit, and some days they will sweep you off your feet.  But all of us keep walking with the hope that eventually all we will have is the dampness of our toes when the grief hits, not the feeling of drowning.

Grief comes in waves, you can’t stop it, you can’t fight it, all you can do is keep walking.

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